I Don't Have To Pretend With You
by Totallytwistedwords
Summary: High School AU Dean Winchester's new in town, so he doesn't immediately recognize town-and world- celebrity, Castiel Novak, author and boy genius. The boys strike up a quick friendship, despite problems along the way- the least of which being Castiel's crippling shyness.
1. First Meeting

"Mr. Winchester, you're in luck. We have one seat left. You can sit next to Mr. Novak." A slight murmured filled the room as Dean Winchester looked around- there were several empty chairs.

"Uh... which one?" he asked, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. The room fell silent for a moment. Then the teacher-Mr. Cann- spoke again.

"Mr. Novak... please identify yourself." A hand in the back of the room rose slowly, but Dean couldn't see the person it belonged to very well- he was slumped forward, writing carefully in a notebook. As Dean began making his way to the boy in the back the hand fell and pulled a messenger bag from Dean's spot, placing it on the floor. The boy's measured writing never faltered and he didn't look up. Even once the teacher started talking, Novak kept writing. Dean was lost by the material within a few minutes, so he turned his attention to the boy next to him- he had dark, almost black, messy hair. He wore a loose black t-shirt with some logo on the front-Dean couldn't really see- and holey light-wash jeans. A quick to the ground confirmed Dean's suspicions- Converse.

"Hey." Dean whispered it to the boy. "What's your name?" The careful writing paused for a moment, and as it continued the boy spoke quietly, a surprisingly deep voice, especially considering how thin the boy was.

"My name is Castiel Novak." Dean smiled easily.

"I'm Dean. Do you get this stuff?" he gestured to the teacher who was waving his arms wildly while students furiously scribbled notes. Once more the writing paused.

"Yes." It was very soft and Dean wasn't entirely sure he heard it. The Castiel looked at him. His eyes were bright blue, and very familiar.

"Shit." All the air whooshed from his lungs. "You're Castiel Novak."

"I believe we covered that." Dean sat in stunned silence. Castiel Novak, world-wide best-selling author and all around boy genius was sitting next to him.

"Woah." Everyone had read his books, and the world was eagerly awaiting the last book in the series- Dean suspected that's what the boy was so studiously writing. Dean's mind was still reeling, but he found himself speaking. "Why your eye?" Castiel's hands played nervously with a frayed string from his jeans, and he spoke as if by route- he had been asked that very question many, many times.

"My sister took that picture. She loved it, showed it to anyone who would stand still long enough. When she dies a few months before my first book came out, I insisted. Refusing to sit for an author photo is my tribute to her." Dean frowned.

"I'm sorry. Was she older or younger?" Now the other boy's tone took on a softer quality, and he looked back to his notebook.

"Younger. My baby sister." he didn't look at or speak to Dean again for the rest of the class. As soon as the bell rang, the writer was up and out of the room. Laughter followed him

"What a freak." The girl sitting in front of Dean turned and placed her hand on his arm. "Ask Mr. Cann if you can more your chair up to me and Stacy's table." she smiled with obscenely red lips.

"Why?" Dean drew his arm away. The girl didn't seem to notice and leaned forward conspiratorially.

"Uh, hello? He's suck a freak!" Dean's lip curled involuntarily.

"Then why do you have his book?" he gestured to the novel nestled securely among her school books and the girl just shrugged.

"Everyone reads Novak's stuff." Dean shook his head and stood, his anger forcing the girl from his space.

"You're a hypocrite. I'll stick with Castiel if you're how 'normal' people act around here." Dean slung his ratty bookbag over his shoulder and stormed from the room.

* * *

By the end of the day, Dean had been propositioned twice, and warned away from Castiel Novak at least twice as many times. He had tried to find the boy at lunch, but hadn't been able to. He was waiting in his car for his baby brother, Sam, when he finally saw Castiel. He hopped from his vehicle- a 1967 Chevy Impala- and half-jogged to the slightly smaller boy.

"Hey!" the author didn't stop walking- if anything he sped up. "Castiel!" This stopped him in his tracks- but he didn't look up to see who said his name. Dean stopped next to the other teen. "Hey." he greeted with a grin. Still Castiel didn't look up from the ground, though he did mutter something that may have been 'Hello Dean'. "Are you okay? You look..." Dean trailed off hesitantly, his desire to help the-admittedly beautiful- outcast warring with the knowledge that he was talking to one of the most famous people in the world.

"I look what?" The boy's response was painfully quiet, and Dean had an epiphany.

"Are you... scared, Cas?" If he noticed the nicknae-which he totally did- the Castiel didn't show it. He did, however, nod slightly. "Why?" Cas shrugged and his eyes darted to meet Dean's own for just a moment before flitting back to the sidewalk beneath. Dean, without thinking, took Castiel by the wrist and gave a gently tug. "You wanna come over to my place for a bit? Play some video games, you know?" Cas nodded the slightest bit, his eyes fixed on Dean's hand wrapped around his arm.

"Yes." he whispered. Dean grinned and the blue-eyed boy chanced a second glance up with a small answering smile of his own. Dean began to lead Cas back to his car, not letting go of his wrist, pretending he didn't notice the unfriendly looks aimed at the two of them, while Castiel shrunk in on himself, staring at the ground directly in front of his feet. Dean chuckled to himself as they neared the car and he saw Sam looking curiously out of window.

"This'll be fun. Sammy'll love this- he's one of your biggest fans." Castiel didn't respond, but Dean didn't really expect him to anyway.


	2. Shy

Dean was confused. The moment Sam had started gushing his love for Castiel and his books, the author had transformed into a shining, confident- if somewhat self depreciating- _presence_. He spoke beautifully, discussing his books with Sam- in normal volumes, no less. Dean didn't know why, but he though Cas seemed sad, under the smiles and the laughter. Evidently, Mary Winchester thought so too. Almost immediately upon entering the Winchester home Castiel was taken to the kitchen. Dean and Sam waited in the living room- they may have just moved in a week ago, but they knew the kitchen was their mother's domain and you only entered if you were invited. When he emerged about 10 minutes later, he refused to tell the brothers what had been said. The brothers- though Sam was still slightly star-struck- teamed up against Cas in their first game of Call of Duty. Cas and Dean joined forces in the second, and finally Sam and Cas by the fifth. Throughout the entire encounter Castiel was largely silent, even though the other two shouted insults or instructions back and forth. Cas declined staying for dinner, and though Dean tried to insist, would not let Dean drive him home simply shaking his head at everything Dean said until

"Do you have a cellphone?" to which he finally nodded. Dean held out his own phone impatiently. "Gimme your number. I'm texting you in ten minutes, and if you're not home by then I'm driving you. Capicie?" the other nodded again and typed his number carefully into the phone. Dean wouldn't let him leave until he confirmed that Cas had, in fat, given him the right number- showing Dean he received the text he sent. Right before he left the house he finally met Dean's eyes and spoke very softly.

"Thank you, for inviting me over." here his gaze returned to it's normal place- his shoes. "I... had fun." Dean smiled, lapping the other boy's arm.

"Me too. Are you sure you don't want a ride?" Cas nodded and hurried away, down the darkened street. "Be careful!" Dean shouted after him.

* * *

**8:43 **'Are_ you home yet?'_ Dean anxiously awaited the response.

**8:44**_ 'It has not been 10 minutes.' _Dean snorted.

**8: 45 **'Close_ enough. Are you home?' _For a long times, there was no answer. Dean took a shower, glanced at his homework, and had been on the internet for some time before he finally got a text.

**9:33 **_'Yes.'_ Dean rolled his eyes but responded eagerly.

**9:33 **_'Did you forget to answer?'_ The answering text came quickly, so Dean felt slightly less like a loser for his enthusiasm.

**9:34 **_'No.'_ Dean was confused.

**9:35 **_'?'_

**9:35** _'I arrived home approximately 10 minutes ago.' _

**9:37 **_'It's been almost an hour. Why didn't you just let me drive you?"_ Dean went back to browsing the internet while he waited- and if he Googled Cas it wasn't any creepier than checking out someone's Facebook... Nor was watching some of his interviews on Youtube, where the boy seemed confidant and had a way of putting himself that had everyone rooting for him while they laughed. Dean didn't understand why he was so quiet around him. "Am I that scary?" Dean mused aloud to himself.

**10:01 **_'I did not wish to go home.' _Dean was surprised when his phone rang, and not just because he had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that his phone seemed WAY too loud.

**10:02 **_'Why?'_

**10:03** _'Goodnight, Dean." _He tried not to get offended. He had only met the guy a few hours ago, after all. It's not like he needed to spill his life story or anything...

**10:05 **_'Night, Cas.'_

* * *

The next few days went much like the first. Cas and Dean sat silently next to each other in English, and Dean ate lunch alone. Cas went to Dean's house every afternoon- sometimes they played video games with Sammy, sometimes they went up to Dean's room ans listened to music. Sometimes Dean talked- he liked the feeling that someone was actually listening. Once Cas even let Dean drive him home. Slowly, he started talking to Dean, and by extent, the rest of the Winchesters. It started one afternoon when they were locked in Dean's room, ostensibly doing their homework. Really, they sat side-by-side on the floor, leaning against Dean's bed, eyes closed. Quite suddenly, Cas plopped his hean onto Dean's cracked open one of his eyes to peek at Castiel.

"I like this song." Cas murmured it softly, sleepily. Dean smiled and closed his eye again.

"Me too." After that day, Dean and Cas became Dean-and-Cas. Castiel showed Dean where he ate lunch the very next day- ironically enough, in Mr. Cann's English classroom. Dean took his lunch there from then on. It's not like he had any other friends to miss him. Dean took to draping his arm over Cas's shoulders whenever they walked together. When they sat in the Impala or in Dean's room, Cas would lace their fingers together, or lay his head on the other boy's shoulder when they watched a movie. Eventually- it really took longer than it should have- Dean realized he wasn't scary. Cas was shy.


	3. Lawyer Up

"I almost didn't stop for you, that first say." Castiel always spoke quietly, as though anticipating he wouldn't be heard. Of course, that just made Dean-and the rest of the Winchesters- listen all the harder, to make sure the small boy was never overlooked in their rather loud family.

"Why did you?" Dean had convinced Cas to have lunch outside with him, since the weather was so nice. It was warm and sunny, and very pleasant where Dean and Cas lounged in the shade of a tree. Cas was nestled between Dean's legs, his back to the other's chest. Their entwined fingers sat on Castiel's thighs. Cas lay his head back onto Dean's shoulder so he could look up at his face.

"You said my name. My first name. Everyone else calls me Novak." Dean smiled and squeezed Cas's hand affectionately.

"I would have chased you down, even if you hadn't stopped. Though, come to think of it, maybe not if I had known how much of a cuddle-whore you are." The author chuckled.

"You know you love it. Besides," as let his yes drift shut. "I'm more of a cuddlebug. I don't let just anyone have the honor of being my pillow, you know." Dean snorted.

"My mistake." he lay his head on the tree, closing his eyes. "Cuddle-slut."

* * *

"Hey, faggy. Wake up." Dean felt a sharp jab to his side and woke with a start= three boys surrounded himself and Cas. Instinctively, he drew the still-sleeping boy closer to his body. He grinned.

"Can I help you?" he started shaking his leg, hoping to wake Cas. The boy directly in front of Dean sneered.

"Don't like faggots." Dean's eyes grew cold but his smile didn't falter.

"And this affects me how?" Cas began to stir.

"Don't like you, don't like your boyfriend." Dean didn't bother to correct him- he figured everyone would think him and Cas were dating, and it didn't really bother him. The school was clearly filled to the brim with jerks anyway.

"Maybe you like him a little too much?" The boy's face turned red and scrunched with rage. He kicked at Castiel, with mixed results- his two friends also started kicking (hard) Cas woke up, and Dean went from angry to furious. The boys scrambled to their feet among the barrage of kicks and Dean launched himself at the one who tried to kick Cas first. After they hit the ground, Dean lost it. The next few moments became a blur of anger and pain and he wailed on the boy beneath him. The next thing Dean really knew he was being bodily hauled off his victim.

"Principal's office, now!" a voice boomed in his ear, blocking his line of vision to the boy. "I said now!" As all five boys were led away, Dean took stock of Cas- he had a split lip and a cut above his eye, and looked absolutely livid. He glanced at the boys Cas had been fighting. One of them was a clutching a bleeding nose, and the other's eye was swollen shut.

"Good job." Dean murmured it in Cas's ear, making the boy smirk.

"You too." Dean couldn't see the last boy's face, but he was sure it wouldn't be pretty.

* * *

The principal watched the security footage in stony silence, not even bothering to look at the incident report or the boys in front of him. He stopped the video when the teachers entered the shot.

"It seems to me that Misters" here he glanced briefly down at the paper "Calvin, Young, and Graham were clearly provoked and will therefore not be punished." he had to raise his voice to be heard over Cas and Dean's furious shouts. "Quiet! You three may see the nurse and return to class-" the principal directed his words to the other boys but Castiel stood.

"No." he seethed. "Do you know who I am? You will do this right or I will lawyer up so fast your great grandchildren will be paying for it out of their asses. Do you understand that, sir?" Castiel didn't wait for an answer. "My friend and I are going to go to the nurse. If you don't want a lawsuit filed against this sorry excuse for a school you will keep them far away from there for the rest of the day. Am I understood?" The principal stood as well.

"You listen to me, boy. Just who do you think you are, coming in here-"

"I'm Castiel Novak. Get it now?" As the man's eyes widened Castiel grabbed Dean's wrist and hailed him from the silent office. As soon as they were in the safety of the empty hallway Cas dropped Dean's arm and wrapped his own arms around himself, sinking to sit against the wall, shaking.

"Cas?" Dean was about ready to panic and ruch back inside the office for help, but Cas stopped him.

"I...I'm o-ok-k-kay. J-just a p-pan-nic attack." Cas curled into a small ball and closed his eyes, taking short shallow breaths. Uncertainly, Dean sat next to the quivering boy, rubbing his back soothingly. About ten minutes went by in almost complete silence, when suddenly Castiel took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm okay." he whispered it but didn't move. "I'm okay." Dean wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

"That sucked." Cas snorted softly.

"You're telling me.

* * *

Later, at Dean's house, Cas was laying in the middle of Dean's bed.

"I hate using him that way." Dean looked over at him from his spot on the floor.

"Who?" Dean turned down the ever-present music so he could hear.

"Castiel Novak." Dean lifted an eyebrow.

"Uh... aren't you Castiel Novak?" The other boy sighed.

"No. I'm just Cas. the boy who hates going home and writes in a ratty notebook to make himself feel better. Castiel Novak is famous, has millions of screaming fans. He's outgoing and funny and everyone loves him." Dean pondered for a moment, hating the sadness evident in Cas's voice. He stooed and climbed onto the bed, forcing Cas to scoot over or be laid on. "He's how I get through all the interviews.: Dean finally understood.

"He's your mask. If you're not Castiel Novak it makes it less scary to know everyone's watching, right?" Cas nodded slightly.

"Yes." Dean smiled and wrapped himself around Cas, tangling their legs together and pressing his face to the other's neck.

"Sure, Castiel Novak's famous and has screaming fans all over the world. But he's not my best friend." Dean felt himself beginning to blush but continued speaking. "He's funny, sure. But you're funnier. I know you didn't like showing up that asshat, but it had to happen. Isn't Castiel Novak pro-gay anyway?" Cas nodded again.

"Thank you." Dean smiled against the blue-eyed boy's neck. "Cuddle-whore." Dean pulled back, aghast and Cas laughed, wrapping his arms around Dean. "I think I must be rubbing off on you." Dean snorted but allowed the snuggles, both boys quickly falling asleep.

* * *

Dean woke a few hours later, Cas still firmly pressed to his side. He rubbed his eye with his free hand as he began to process what woke him up- Cas's phone was ringing. He didn't bother trying to wake the other boy. Instead he fished around in Cas's pockets until he found the obnoxious device.

"'Lo?"

"Castiel? What is this I hear about you getting into a fight at school? The press already caught wind and they're out for blood. We have to do major damage control fast or you can kiss your good name and reputation goodbye. Why aren't you talking, did they hurt your throat? Hang on, let me call this great lawyer I know, he owes me a favor..." The woman on the other end finally paused for breath so Dean decided it was his turn to talk.

"Not Cas. He's sleeping. Call you back later, yeah?"

"Who is this?" Dean shook his head.

"Sleeping." he shut the phone and curled into Cas, phone still clutched in his hand. Cas stirred but Dean drowsily pet his arm. "Sleep." They both did.


	4. Interview

The next time, Cas woke up first. He had his legs tangled with Dean's, and their loosely entwined fingers rested on Dean's stomach. His head was on Dean's shoulder with Dean's nose nestled in his hair. He loosed his hand from, Dean's and prodded his friend in the stomach.

"Wake up." Dean didn't move so Cas pulled himself free and made his way downstairs. He was the only one given free range to the kitchen besides Mary, so he went in there when he heard her humming to herself as she did the dishes.

"Hello, Cas. Did you have a good sleep?" Cas nodded his agreement and started drying the plates- his willingness to help with the chores was one of the major reasons he was allowed in the kitchen. "I sent Sam to wake you guys up a while ago. He... he didn't have the heart." she smiled and dried her hands, pulling her phone from her pocket. She showed Castiel a picture of himself and Dean passed out on the bed, completely wrapped in one another. Cas blushed, and Mary laughed, putting her phone away. She helped Cas dry and put away the dishes, chatting softly. Once they were finished she handed him a plastic-cover plate of food. "Eat up." They heard muffled thumps slowly making their way down the stairs and Mary handed Cas a second plate of food, which he brought out to Dean. They ate in front of the TV, watching their favorite show, Dr. Sexy MD. Upon request, the elder Winchesters allowed Cas to stay the night, since it was Friday. Unfortunately, the boys had slept all afternoon so they were currently wide awake. Cas suggested they go for a walk. It was after midnight, but Dean agreed.

* * *

Cas seemed to have a destination in mind, so Dean let him lead the way. Dean had his arm slung around Cas's shoulder, per usual. They walked silently, enjoying the cool night air and having the other by their side. Cas led them to a park not too far from Dean's house. It was old and hardly ever used anymore. He brought them to the base of a large tree and smiled as he stepped from Dean's grasp. He began climbing the tree. Dean watched for a moment before following. About 10 feet up, the ground was no longer visible through the leaves and Cas stopped.

"This is where I come when I don't want to go home." They both settled comfortably on the large branch.

"It's nice. Oh, by the way, someone called you earlier." Dean handed off the phone tucked into his picket. Cas glanced at the history and groaned.

"My publicist." he explained. "I'll call her back later." he decided after a moment of deliberation. He smiled at the green eyed boy in front of him. "I like your family. They love you- and each other- a lot." Dean smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, they're all pretty great. What about you? What's your family like?" Cas looked away and began playing with his fingers.

"They love each other." Dean waited for more, but Cas seemed inclined to keep his silence.

"And you, I'm sure."

"I'm not." Cas's eyes widened- he hadn't meant to say that. "I mean... it doesn't really seem like it." Cas kept his voice steady as he spoke, as thought telling someone else's story. "They love _him_." Dean knew Cas was referring to his public persona. "Or at least they's like to use him for their own gain, even if they'd deny any relation to anyone they know. I haven't seen them since I was 15 and my book hit number 1 on the best-sellers list."

"Who do you live with, then?" Cas just shook his head and changed the topic.

"Sam took a picture of us while we slept." Dean momentarily forgot his concern for his friend.

"What?"

"He sent it to your mother. Potentially your father as well." Dean groaned and covered his face with his hands. He could hear the smile in Cas's voice when he spoke next. "I had your mother send it to me as well."

"Let me see." he demanded, scooting closer to Cas. The boy pulled out his phone and obliged. The two boys were facing each other, legs tangled. They were sharing a pillow, faces no more than three inches apart. Their arms rested on each other's waists, their bodies pressed tightly together. Dean was smiling. "You know, if we were going out, we'd look pretty good." Dean noted with a slight blush. Cas turned red as well.

"I guess so." he smiled and put his phone back in his pocket.

"What do you think your publicist will do about the fight?" Cas grimaced.

"I think I know.

* * *

"I won't be at school on Wednesday. I've got an interview to explain the fight." Cas grimaced and glanced at Dean's face to gauge his reaction.

"Oh. Uh... okay." he offered a half-hearted smile. They had left the tree at about dawn, having talked the entire night away. They had then proceeded to sleep until three, cuddled on the couch.

"I was wondering... if you might like to come and watch?" Cas was speaking even quieter then usual and looked nervous. He wouldn't meet Dean's eyes. The only reason they were awake at all was Castiel's publicist had called again, and her and Cas had worked out the interview time.

"Really?"

"If you want..."

"Yeah, man!"

"Will your parents allow you to go?" Dean's smile fell for a moment, but then he shrugged, allowing a small grin to dreep back onto his face.

"Probably." Cas finally looked into Dean's eyes, his own smile growing large.

"Good."

* * *

Wednesday came fast, and Dean and Cas found themselves sitting in a quiet room. Cas had sent his publicist and security away a few minutes prior, and now Dean felt awkward. Cas sat still, breathing deeply with his eyes closed. He was getting ready to be Castiel Novak for an extended period of time and apparently it took prep. Suddenly the door popped open and a man poked his head in.

"Air in ten, Mr. Novak." Cas opened his eyes and Dean could tell that Cas wasn't Cas anymore- he was Castiel Novak, world-wide best seller. Castiel offered the man a broad grin and looked his right in the eyes.

"Thank you." his voice was ever-so-slightly higher pitched, and he nearly exuded pure confidence. Castiel stood calmly and his eyes flicked to Dean. "You can stay in here or come watch from backstage. Whatever you want to do." Dean didn't hesitate.

"I'm with you." Castiel grinned- Dean thought maybe he looked a little relieved- and nodded.

* * *

Vastiel was sitting in a plush chair, talking to some TV host- he didn't really process who. They followed the routine, first talking about his books, and briefly the possibility of a movie deal. Finally-

"Now, Castiel. We get people wanting interviews on my show all the time- they practically beg. Three weeks ago, I was practically begging you, said you could have any day, any time you wanted. You said you were studying for a math test." The audience laughed. Castiel was well known for never studying. "What changed?" Castiel smiled but looked troubled.

"There was... an incident at school. I"m very close with my best friend, who happens to be male. I'm somewhat of a cuddlebug, though if you asked him he's say cuddle-slut. But he doesn't mind. We were laying together at school," he glanced at the large screen on the wall next to him as the security footage appeared- it had been enhanced and zoomed in on Cas and Dean. The audience let out a collective 'aww' upon sight of the pair. Castiel addressed them. "Apparently not everyone thinks so." The three boys walked on screen. "See, I was asleep at this point. I'm not sure about Dean." They watched the video silently. Unlike in the principal's office, the movie played on after the teachers entered the shot. They watched as one of the teachers pulled Dean away- but it took two to remove the furious Cas. The video stopped with only him left on-screen. He looked downright murderous.

"What happened after this?" questioned the host, gesturing to the screen. Castiel frowned.

"We went to the principal's office. He watched the video- the same one we just watched, mind you, and said that Dean and I had clearly instigated the fight. I, uh, I got angry."

"What did you do?" Castiel blushed.

"I threatened to sue unless he did his damned job right." everyone laughed again. "I felt really bad about it. At school I try to be like everybody else. But homophobic pricks like him need a dose of humility every now and agian." The audience cheered loudly for several moments."

"Come on, Castiel! You're gonna sit here and tell me" the host gestured to the screen again- it showed Cas and Dean asleep under the tree once more. "there's nothing going on between you two?" Castiel smiled fondly at the picture.

"I don't think he's interested."


	5. Struck

'I don't think he's interested.' The phrase circled Dean's brain all night. After Castiel had said that, he and the host had briefly discussed gay rights, then the boys had left. Castiel hadn't become Cas until they were in the car. His shoulders slumped and his eyes drooped. Pretending to be outgoing can be absolutely exhausting. Dean held him until they got to his house. The chauffeur dropped Dean off then took Cas home. Dean had been watching the end of the interview on repeat since he got to his laptop. Did that mean that Cas _was_ interested? Cas had told him not to call, he was probably gonna sleep until school tomorrow, maybe skip the rest of the week and 'recover'.

* * *

Cas wasn't in school the next day. During fifth period-around noon- Dean's phone vibrated in his pocket. Once the teacher wasn't looking he checked it, smiling immediately upon seeing it was from Cas- of course. He didn't bother hiding his phone as he replied- his math class had a sub anyway.

**12:13** '_Hello, Dean.'_

**12:14 **'_Hey, Cas. :)'_

**12:14 **_'How's math?' _Dean allowed his smile to grow- Cas knew his schedule.

**12:15 **_'Boring. Got a sub. :P'_

**12:15** _'Sound fun. ;)'_

**12:16 **_'Oh yeah. How's not physics?'_

**12:16 **_'I just woke up.' _Dean could feel the smirk from where he sat.

**12:17** _'Jerk.'_

**12:18** _'Do you think you could come pick me up when you get out?'_

**12:19**_ 'Man, you're rich. Why don't you just buy a car?'_

**12:21**_ 'I cannot drive.' _Dean raised an eyebrow.

**12:21**_ 'Really?'_

**12:22**_ 'Yes.'_

**12:23**_ 'Ok, sure. I'll be over after I drop Sammy at his friend's.'_

**12:23 **_'Thank you.' _They texted for the rest of the class period, and throughout the entirety of the next one too. Dean made it to Cas's house about at about three. He knocked on the door and a moment later a very shirtless Cas was ushering him inside.

"Sorry, I'm not ready yet. I got writing and lost track on time." Cas blushed and gestured that Dean should follow him down a small hallway. It was the first time that Dean had actually been in Cas's house and he couldn't help but look around. The house was small and Dean thought it might be crowded for more than two or three people. There weren't a lot of pictures- just some of a red-head girl scattered around. The furniture was simple but looked comfy. The place smelled comforting, but he couldn't quite place the scent. Cas led him to the room at the end of the hall. "Sorry about the mess." Cas blushed again as he began rummaging through a large pile of clothes near the bed. "Would you mind if I took a really quick shower?" Dean shook his head and teased,

"I was hoping you would. You stink, dude." Cas smiled and pulled a towel from the mound of cloth.

"Five minutes." he promised, striding from the room. Dean would deny it, but his eyes may have drifted a little south as they followed the boy out. Dean chuckled to himself as he looked around the room- it looked like it had never been cleaned, though there were no dishes, unlike in his own room. The walls were pink and brown striped, and it almost made Dean cringe. The bed was huge with a dark blue bedspread. All the furniture was dark, shiny wood, and a laptop was open on the bed. Curious, he sat down and pulled in onto his legs. On the screen was a Word document. Reading a little of it, Dean discovered it was the third book in Cas's series. With a hasty glance around he scrolled to the top and began reading. The previous book had ended on a cliffhanger, and he desperately wanted to know what happened. Before he could get too far, the laptop was closed in his hands. Cas stood next to the bed, toweling off his dripping hair with one hand. He was still shirtless, but wore a different pair of jeans.

"No spoilers." he murmured as he took the computer. He tossed it to the foot of the bed with a smile. Dean had a witty retort ready to spew forth, but then he notice Cas's chest- it was almost completely covered in tiny white scars, that from farther away, just made him look pale. Dean wanted to ask, but wasn't sure how. Then he looked into the boy's smiling blue eyes and knew it would upset him- so he stayed silent.

"Were you gonna get dressed or just go out like that?" Dean asked, gesturing to the other boy's naked torso. Cas turned beet red.

"Sorry." Dean was amused to see the flush creep down Cas's neck and onto his chest before he turned and picked up a shirt from the floor, pulling it over his head. "Ok, I'm ready."

"Where is everybody?" Dean wondered aloud as they left the house. Cas tilted his head in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Dean gestured to Cas's empty house.

"You're only 17. You can't live alone." Castiel's eyes widened.

"I thought you were joking when you asked who I lived with. I'm legally emancipated, Dean. I've been on my own since I was 15."

"Oh." Dean drove silently for a while. "Is that why you like coming over?" Cas nodded.

"I used to be okay, but your house is so full of life. It makes mine seem empty and quiet." Dean took one on his hands off the wheel and entwined his fingers with Cas's, squeezing gently.

* * *

"I can't believe you forgot your brother! Do you know how terrible it was to lie to Mrs. Angel? I told her you had car troubles! Dammit, Dean! It's your job to look after Sam!"

"Dad, it's okay. They were coming to the neighborhood anyway!" Sam tried to protect his brother, but his dad just kept shouting. Cas and Dean had been upstairs for hours, listening to music and talking. Dean forgot to pick Sam up from his friend's house, so him friend's mom had driven him home. Cas was standing awkwardly in the doorway to the living room, wanting to defend Dean, but unable to overcome his shyness.

"Ever since you started hanging out with that Novak kid you've been ignoring everything you're supposed to do-" for the first time since the tirade began ten minutes ago, Dean looked at his dad.

"What the hell does it have to do with Cas?" he demanded, fists curling at his sides.

"Everything! You're so bust with him you don't have times for your baby brother anymore!"

"And what's your excuse?" Dean roared face turning red. "Why don't you have time for Sammy? Or me, or mom, or your fucking job?"

"What are you talking about, boy?" John Winchester's voice was dangerous, but Dean didn't back down, though he did lower his voice.

"Your boss called me. Wanted to know what hospital room you were staying in, so he could send you a get-well gift. Said to tell you not to rush yourself, to come back when you were feeling better. So, dad," Dean face darkened. "What's your god damned excuse?" he screamed. Dean flew backwards and hit the floor. While he tried to figure out how he got there, Cas darted into the room and took hold of Sam, who was trying to launch himself at John.

"Don't touch my brother!" he shrieked as the man took a step forward. "Don't you fucking touch him!" John took a step backwards, hands held high in defeat.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, boys." Tears streaming down his face, Sam allowed Cas to lead him to Dean.

"What happened?" Dean shook his head, trying to shake away the pounding headache.

"He hit you." Sam replied, throwing an angry glare towards his father, who looked helplessly on. "The bastard hit you."

"Come on." Cas helped Dean to his feet. "Stay at mine tonight." he looked at Sam. "Both of you." Dean nodded and stalked from the room, pushing Sam in front of him, dragging Cas behind. Cas forced him to stop as he looked back at the eldest Winchester.

"I'll take care of them." he whispered, avoiding the man's eyes. "And send them back when they've cooled off enough." Cas had turned to leave when John spoke.

"Get the hell out of my house, and stay the fuck out." Cas allowed Dean to pull him from the room.

* * *

"Come on in, make yourselves comfortable." Cas murmured quietly as he flicked on lights, Sam and Dean following him in. Sam's eyes were still red and puffy, and Dean hadn't spoken the whole ride over. Dean plopped himself on the couch and covered his face with his hands, elbows on his knees. Cas passed his a quickly-made ice pack then turned to the other brother. "Come on, Sam. Let's run over to the store. It's only a few blocks away."

"But..." Cas gently pulled the protesting boy from the house, and Dean was glad. He needed to be alone for a little while. He didn't know how Cas knew, but he was glad he did. For several minutes, Dean just breathed. The house smelled like Cas- that's why it was so comforting. It smelled like Cas's shampoo, his laundry detergent, his toothpaste- shut up, sometimes when they slept their faces got close together and he could smell it. The smells calked Dean down enough for him to realize his cheek freaking hurt and make him put the ice on it and he leaned back on the couch, eyes close. His dad could pack a punch.


	6. Anna

When Cas and Sam returned from the store about twenty minutes later, they had ice cream and breakfast food. Dean was sprawled on the couch, ice melting against his upturned cheek. He opened his eyes as they entered the room, and smiled when he heard Sammy laugh at something Cas said. Despite what his dad said, Cas was good for him and his brother. Cas put the food away and gave Sam an ice cream. Dean neglected to have any, and the blue-eyed boy abstained as well. Once Sam finished his treat Dean ordered him to bed. Cas loaned him a pair of sweat pants and led him to the guest bedroom.

"Goodnight, Sam."

"Night, Cas." Dean sat up and made room for Cas on the couch when he came back, smiling when Cas instantly curled into his side. They watched a movie and went to bed, Dean sleeping with Cas in his room. Neither noticed the figure creep silently into the room a few hours after they had fallen asleep, nor did they notice the camera flashes and soft clicks before the figure slunk away again. Dean woke up first the next morning. 'he smiled at Cas- he looked happy, even asleep. He brushed his fingers along Cas's jaw, enjoying the feel of his stubble. His smile widened as Ca hummed quietly, obviously still asleep. He froze as he realized what he was going, and jerked away, rolling out of bed and landing on his feet. He was dressed in a pair of Cas's sweats, but had apparently taken off his shirt in the night. He shrugged to himself and found a towel that seemed clean before making his was to the bathroom for a shower. He briefly wondered in Cas would join him. Dean shook his head to clear away the distracting thought, pointedly ignoring the semi- he was sporting at the idea.

_'Get yourself together, Winchester.'_

* * *

Dean drove the three of them to school, but as soon as Sam closed the car door- sans books or homework- Cas turned to Dean.

"Skip with me. We never do anything on Fridays anyway." Dean didn't pause to think, just turned the car back on and drove away, holding Cas's hand in his own. They rolled down the windows and sang along to the ACDC blaring through the radio. They drove for hours, eventually finding themselves at the beach. It was practically empty, just some college girls and some dog-walkers down the way a bit. They sat together on the hood of the Impala, Dean's arm slung casually around his friend's shoulders. After a while, Cas slid off the car and started shimmying out of his clothes.

"Uh... Cas?" Dean asked uncertainly, clearing his throat.

"You brought me to the beach- so I am going to swim." came the quiet reply. "Come with me?" Dean didn't think twice, quickly stripping down to his boxers. He and Cas ran across the hot sand, hesitating once the cold water his them. Cas took a few tentative steps forward into the surf, Dean close behind. As the next wave came in, Cas felt a hard shove at his back as he was forced into the water. "Dean Winchester," he spluttered as he emerged from the water, dripping. "Did you push me?" He didn't really need to ask- Dean was laughing too uproariously for it to have been anyone else. Still dripping, Cas stalked forward, fists clenched. Suddenly, his posture softened and he looked at Dean from under his eyelashes. "I think you owe me a hug?" Dean shook his head, still chuckling.

"No way. You'll get me back." Cas tilted his head.

"If I promise not to dunk you?" Dean narrowed his eyes slightly but nodded once.

"Deal." Cas held out his loosely clenched fists in a 'come to me' gesture. After a moment's hesitation, Dean did. Cas immediately snuggled into his broad chest, burying his face in the crook of Dean's neck. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas's waist, feeling bad when he felt the other boy's chilled skin.

"Aw, Cas, I'm sorr-AH!" Dean let out a squeal as something went, cold, and slimy found it's way into his boxers. Cas stepped back quickly, covering his mouth as he giggled. Dean grimaced as he pulled at his shorts, trying to get whatever it was away from him while Cas continued to try desperately not to laugh. Eventually, with a wet 'plop' a large chunk of sea-weed fell to the sand. Cas could hold it in no more and began laughing loudly, clutching his stomach.

"S...stop!" he cried around his giggles. "Stop looking at me like that! You're making it worse!" Dean's glared faded into a smile as his friend continued to chortle. When the boy didn't seem inclined to stop any time soon, Dean picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. This made Cas laugh harder, even as he tried to struggle free. Dean strode bravely into the water, still smiling at the blue-eyes boy's fruitless struggles. When he deemed the water deep enough, he tossed Cas in. They were both still laughing when Cas came up for air.

* * *

"Dean? Your mother is here." Cas and Dean has returned to Cas's a number of hours earlier. Sam had walked back after school, since it wasn't far. Dean stood from where he sat on the couch. His cheeks were pink from the sun, though he still had a large bruise covering one of them. Mary gave a gentle smile as she entered the room and Dean allowed her to examine him and give his cheek a soft kiss.

"What do you want to do, Dean?" She asked once they were seated. Csa had tried to excuse himself, but both Mary and Dean insisted he stay.

"I don't want to go back." he responded immediately. Mary nodded.

"I figured as much, Cas, do you think your parents would mind if Dean stayed here for a while?" Cas smiled and shook his head slightly.

"I'm an emancipated minor. This is my house, in my name. Dean is welcome to stay as long as he'd like." Mary was silent for a long while, before she nodded.

"I think you're old enough to decide for yourself what you want to do, Dean. As long as you do it responsibly. Sam, though..."

"Should go home." Dean agreed. "Dad won't touch him." Mary's eyes grew cold.

"No, I shouldn't think so. If he ever lays a hand on either of you again he'll have me to deal with." Both boys looked on in shock as the normally kind and warm mother became downright terrifying in her fury. "And I will not treat him kindly." Mary shook her head quickly, clearing her thoughts. "I brought you some clothes, Dean. They're in the trunk. Could you go get them?" Dean nodded and left the room. "I brought you some money, Cas. Dean eats more than you think could be possible." Cas smiled and shook his head, staring at the floor.

"I promise, I have more money than I know what to do with. Please," he glanced at her face. "keep it." Mary squinted for a moment before nodding.

"Alright." she glanced at the door before continuing. "Dean's not going to live with us again, will he? He's moving out." Cas nodded.

"It seems likely."

"You're good for him. He's never had a friend like you. I know he can be stupid sometimes," they both smiled. "but he's worth it." Cas nodded slowly.

"Yes. He is."

* * *

Once Sam and Mary left, Dean settled back onto the couch. Cas plopped next to him, with a tub of ice cream and a spoon. He took a bite then offered the cold treat to Dean. After a moment's thought, he accepted. For a while they were silent, simply enjoying their ice cream and each other's company. Then-

"Cas, how did you get those scars on your chest?" Castiel froze, spook buried in the ice cream. His shoulders slumped and Dean began to backpedal. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask, it's just-"

"It's okay, Dean. I'll tell you." Dean stopped speaking immediately, but began ot fidget when Dean didn't say anything for a long time. "I have some on my back too. And my arms." There was another silence, shorter this time. "Do you know about my sister, Anna?"

"Yeah, she uh, she died."

"She killed herself." Dean nodded- everyone knew that.

"I was supposed to die too." Dean's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but Cas kept going. "We made a pact- but I couldn't go through with it. She slit her wrists in the bathroom. I went to tell her I wanted to call it off, but it was too late. There... there was so much blood. I started screaming, and after a while my father came to see what was wrong. I was crying, but he just looked at her and said she'd burn in hell. After that I sort of went crazy. I don't really remember what happened. I've been told I started hitting him and he pulled me from the room while he called 911. I was still screaming, only now it was about how I promised, and I had to die too. My brothers wouldn't let me back upstairs, so I jumped out of the living room window. I was shirtless, and the glass cut me everywhere. I came to in the hospital, chest wrapped in bandages and drugged out of my mind. My father said he was paying to keep me out of the psych ward- Anna's suicide was disgraceful enough. I was released a few days later. The bathroom was cleaned, the window fixed, Anna's room had been turned into an office like she never even existed." Cas's voice broke and immediately Dean wrapped him in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Cas." Dean's voice was raw with emotion. "I'm so sorry."


	7. Adam

"I'm okay, Dean. Really. I get through just like everyone else." Cas assured his friend. "I'm better now." Dean reluctantly allowed Cas out of his embrace. "So, do you want to start sleeping in the guest room?" Cas changed the subject suddenly, shoveling a large bite of ice cream into his mouth.

"Uh... I guess, yeah. Thanks." They talked for a while before Dean declared his need for sleep.

"Goodnight, Dean." they exchanged a long hug and Cas also retired to his room, though he kept his door open and got out his notebook. He started typing, consulting the spiral-bound book often as he transferred his words to the computer. Cas was quickly lost in the world of his own creation.

"Cas? Why are you still awake?" a groggy voice asked from the doorway. Cas glanced at the clock on his computer- it had been hours.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" Dean shook his head and shuffled his feet, rubbing his eyes blearily.

"Nah, sleep is for the weak." Cas chuckled.

"Come on in, then." Dean ambled into the room wearing only a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and lay himself on Cas's bed, so his head was near the computer. Absently, Cas began combing his fingers through Dean's sleep-mussed hair as he reread what he had written over the past few hours- he had deviated quite a bit from his first draft. "But really, Dean. Why are you awake?" Dean mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'nightmares' and pressed his face into Cas's thigh, nuzzling close to encourage him to keep petting. "Do you often have nightmares?" Dean nodded slightly, curling up into a 'c' shape. "How often?" Dean yawned.

"Almost every night." Cas nodded.

"What are they about?" Dean didn't answer, causing Cas to peel down at him- he was asleep. "Don't think this conversation's over." he chuckled, turning his attention back to his book. The hand in Dean's hair never stilled.

The next time Dean woke up, it had been light out for several hours. At first he thought he was alone- but then he spied Cas out of the corner of his eye. He was sprawled on the floor, busily typing away at his computer. As Dean's sleep-muddled brain slowly came to the conclusion that he wasn't in his room- or Cas's guest room- he could only form one thought.

"Dude," he licked his dry lips. "why is your room pink?" Cas laughed tiredly, rubbing at his eyes as he sat up.

"Good morning to you as well." Dean rolled his eyes even though Cas couldn't see. "It was this color when I bought the house. I keep meaning to redo it, but I don't think I can move the furniture by myself." Dean rolled so he could see Cas properly- he was still typing. Spying the dark circles under his friend's eyes, Dean asked

"How long have you been awake?" Cas glanced at his clock.

"About 27 hours."

"Jesus Christ. Why?" Cas gave a dry chuckled as he saved and closed his document.

"Sleep is for the weak."

* * *

"Why are we here, Dean?" Dean grinned as they entered the large store.

"I'm gonna help you paint your room."

"Really? Thanks you!" Cas smiled as they neared the paint section. Dean clapped his hands.

"Alright, you go pick out the paint you want. I'll go fetch everything else." Dean gestured to a large (hairy) man behind the paint section and strode away.

"Dean!" Cas hissed after him. When Dean didn't move to return, he squared his shoulders and made his way to the counter, fiddling with the hem on his t-shirt. "I... I'm like some paint, please." Cs whispered, pleased he managed to get the words out at all. He kept his gaze fixed on the wooden counter in front him, focusing on breathing.

"What'd you say kid?" The man's loud voice made Cas jump, his shoulders hunching in. He steeled himself to speak again, but the man beat him to it. "Spit it out and stop wasting my time, kid!" Cas took several deep breaths and opened his mouth to speak, eyes now locked on his shoes. "God, freaks like you shouldn't be allowed in public. Get outta here, kid." Tears at his inadequacy filled Cas's eyes and all he could do was take a shaky step back, nodding ever-so-slightly.

"Robert!" An angry voice called. "That is no way to treat a customer, let alone a human being. You're fired. Get out of my store." A man a few years older than Cas- but way younger than the baseball capped 'Robert'- strode into view. He was about the same height as Dean, and had spiky blonde hair and bluish-grey eyes. "I'm sorry about him." he shot a look at the shell-shocked man still standing behind the counter. "I'm Adam Milligan, store manager." Adam hooked his hands behind his back and smiled. "It's okay." he assured the trembling boy in front of him. "I'm actually really shy too. It's normal, you're normal. There's nothing wrong with you. I promised." Cas dared a glance into Adam's kind face.

"Thank you." he whispered, barely audible as his eyes darted back to the floor.

"Do you know what colors you want? You can nod or shake your head if you'd like." Adam suggested as he stepped behind the counter as Robert stormed away. A small hesitation, then Cas nodded, grateful he didn't have to speak again just yet. "Great. Do you want to point them out to me?" Adam pulled out a large book, pushing it to him. Cas nodded and flipped quickly through the large color boo, pointing to a dark blue and a black just as Dean walked up, carrying the other painting supplies. He put it on the counter and threw his arm around Cas's shoulders.

"You okay, buddy?" he asked, noting Cas's red-rimmed eyes. Cas nodded.

"Yes, Dean." Adam smiled at them both.

"Your paint should be ready in about twenty minutes."

"Thank you." Castiel whispered to his hsoes as he and Dean wandered away to waste a half hour, Adam watching Cas with a fond smile.

* * *

"Uh... Cas?" Dean called uncertainly as he fished the receipt out of the plastic bag. Cas poked his head in the room.

"Yes, Dean?"

"The paint guy at the store... he gave you his number and he wasnt you to text him..." Cas blushed and took the offered paper, meticulously folding it before putting it in his pocket, and Dean's eyebrows shot up. "Are you gonna? Text him, I mean." Cas smiled shyly.

"Maybe." Dean's eyebrows shot up higher.

"Wow. What did I miss, hmm?" Cas blushed harder.

"He... understands when it's like to be shy. He gets what's happening in my head. He-"

"Good for you. Help me move the bed." Dean interrupted shortly, not looking at the other. Cas did as he was bid, helping Dean move the furniture to the middle of the room.

At first, Dean wasn't real sure about the color choices, but by the time they were done he was convinced. Two of the four walls were black, the other two the dark blue with black trim.

"Looks good, Cas." Dean smiled at his friend, his earlier ire forgotten. Cas nodded his agreement.

"Thank you for your help. It never would have gotten done without you."

"Damn straight." Dean laughed, pulling Cas into his side with an arm around his shoulders. "Hey, I promised Sammy I'd come by while dad's at work so he can motherhen me. You wanna come?" Cas shook his head.

"I'm going to write. I think my muse is calling me." Dean nodded.

"I'll shower and head on out. We'll put your stuff back when I get back, yeah?" Cas smiled.

"Sounds good." Dean was gone within 15 minutes, leaving Cas alone in the quiet, empty house. Somehow, it didn't seem as lonely as Cas was used to- like something of Dean lingered behind with him. Cas smiled as he got to tying- but his words weren't flowing- he was distracted by thoughts of Adam. Cas pulled out his phone and stared at if for a long time. Then he pulled out Adam's number and stared at it. He rewrote a text six times before deleting it and putting his phone down. But he couldn't keep his eyes on the screen. He picked up his phone and slowly typed out his message, pressing 'send' with a shaking hand.

**1:15 **_'Hello, Adam.'_ He stared at his phone for a long moment.

"I did it." he breathed to himself. "I really did it." he jumoed when his phone beeped, indicating it had recieved a message.

**1:16** _'Hello. You're the one I met at the store today, aren't you?'_ Cas flushed, nervous.

**1:20 **_'Yes. I'm Cas.'_


	8. Yes

Cas began texting Adam every day, and late into the night. Dean gave up on sleeping in the guest room, and slept with Cas every night. If he was disturbed by the light of Cas's phone or his occasional giggle he never mentioned, too afraid of being sent away, back to the cold and dark of the other room. At first, Dean ignored the fact that Cas was often texting the other man, even during school hours. He still did his work, and generally heard when Dean talked to him, so Dean was okay. After a while, though, the sight of the phone always in Cas's hands, the way his face lit up when he got a reply from Adam began to grate on Dean until he could ignore it no more.

"That your boyfriend?" he asked late on night as he climbed onto the bed, ready for sleep. Cas hastily put his phone on the blanket, blushing.

"He's not my boyfriend, Dean." Cas spoke in his usual quiet manner as he playfully shoved Dean's bare shoulder- Dean really preferred sleeping shirtless and Cas promised he didn't mind. Dean didn't know what made the words fly from his mouth when he said,

"But you like him, don't you?"

"He is a good friend, yes." Dean ignored the knife slowly working it's way into his stomach and forced a grin.

"Come on, Cas. You know that's not what I meant. You _like_ him." When Cas hesitated, Dean pressed on. "Come on, man. I'm your best friend. This is what I'm here for." Very slowly, the blue-eyed author nodded.

"Yes, I believe I might have a crush on Adam Milligan." He blushed crimson and stared intently at the blanket. Dean gave a wild grin and let his brain-and heart- take a backseat as he was filled with a manic energy, shoving the knife hilt-deep into his abdomen.

"You should ask him out."

"What?" the other boy squawked. "Absolutely not, Dean Winchester!" Dean gave a bright laugh.

"I'll do it!" he snatched Cas's phone from where it lay on the ned.

"Dean, no!"

"Aww, come on. Don't be a spoilsport!" He held the phone out of Cas's reach and scrambled away, typing furiously. He hit send just as Cas took it back.

**2:47** _'Do you want to go on a date with me? ;)'_

"Dean." Cas's voice shook with a quiet rage. "You've ruined everything." Dean brain was suddenly taking back control, and he lost his wild energy, slumping in on himself.

"Cas, I..." he was interrupted by the beeping of Cas's phone- he had a message. Slowly, so slowly it hurt, Cas brought the phone to where he could see it. He was silent for a long time and Dean began to worry. "Cas, I'm sorry, I-"

"He said yes, Dean he said yes!" Cas was practically yelling by the time he finished. He threw himself in Dean's arms. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" Dean patted his friend on the back and managed a smile.

"I'm glad." he excused himself to the bathroom. _'Why did I do that? More importantly, why do I care so much?'_

* * *

The weekend came.

"Dean, I don't know how to act on a date. What do I wear? What do I say? I'm gonna cancel. I'm sick, do I feel sick to you?" Dean gently pulled his hand from where it had been forced onto Cas's forehead and sighed, placing both his hands on the author's shoulders.

"Cas." he smiled as blue eyes reluctantly met his own. "You'll be fine. He already likes you. You don't need to worry about impressing him anyway. Besides, even if you hadn't already met, you're amazing." Dean spun the other boy until he faced the mirror, ignoring the knife still lodged deep as it began to twist in his stomach. "Look at yourself, Cas. You look great. You've got this, okay?" Cas still looked unsure.

"Dean, you're my best friend. You're required to tell me that." Dean chuckled, enveloping the smaller boy in a hug from behind, placing his chin on his shoulder.

"You look hot, Cas." Dean opened his mouth to say more, but the doorbell interrupted him. He sighed quietly and gave Cas a final squeeze. "You'll blow him away." he promised softly as he let go. "Get 'em, tiger." Cas nodded shakily and left to answer the door. A few minutes later he was gone, and Dean was alone, suddenly understanding what Cas meant when he said the house was too empty. Fearing further introspection, Dean grabbed his keys and went to visit his mom and Sammy- he still hadn't spokwn a word to his dad.

When he got to the family house, the first thing his mom did was invite him into the kitchen. Sam watched him go with wide eyes. Mary began working busily on a pastry while her eldest son inhaled deeply- the smell of his mother's cooking always calmed him down.

"What's the matter, baby?" she asked, knowing better than to look at him. Dean hopped up on a empty counter.

"Nothing." The lie was made easier by the fact that he wasn't completely sure what the truth was. Mary was silent for a moment, giving him a chance to change his answer. When he didn't, she changed tactics.

"Okay. How's everything been?" Dean smiled.

"Good. Cas helped me get an 'A' on a paper, and I just might pass math with his help." Mary laughed.

"Good for you. What's he up to tonight." All of the Winchesters- including John at first- had become quite fond of Castiel during the time he spent at their house.

"Oh, he's... he's on a date." Mary's eyebrows lifted at her son's tone.

"Good for him. Cute boy like that..." Dean snorted.

"The guy is way too old for him." Mary smiled to herself- her boy was as transparent as they came sometimes.

"That's a shame. Wouldn't want anything to happen to him. He's so sweet... innocent." Dean glowered at the floor.

"Mary?" John's voice rang through the house.

"He's home early." Dean mocked bitterly. "Bye mom. I'll stop by sometime next week. Mary looked over at him, but Dean was already striding from the room. His dad was in the living room with an uncomfortable looking Sam. "Hey, Sammy, I'm gonna hit the road. I'll see you at school on Monday, okay?" Dean offered his little brother a fake smile. When Sam smiled back, Dean turned to go.

"I don't want you coming back here, boy." Dean froze at his father's voice. It was cold, calculated, and very angry. "You walk out that dorr and you don't come back. Not to see my family, not to grab a bite to eat, nothing. You walk out that door you stay gone." Dean didn't move for a long time. Finally he turned to face John.

"I'm leaving. But I'll be back whenever I damn well please. You can't keep me away from mom and Sammy, and you'd be stupid to try it, old man." John very slowly stood up.

"Dean." John's face softened and Dean felt hope. "Son. I don't want to fight with you. Leave that Novak boy alone and come home. Come be normal again."

* * *

**A/N Wow, thank you guys so much for all of your awesome reviews last time. Special shout-out to Soaha who caught on that the 'Robert' that got fired from the paint station was Bobby.**

**Anyway thanks again, I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story!**

**Em**


	9. Worried

Dean felt his own features harden.

"No, Dad. Cas... Cas is my friend- he's been more like family to me than you have lately."

"Get out." Dean held his ground for a few moments.

"I'll be back in a few days, mom!" he shouted before stalking from the house.

Dean made it back to Cas's house-made it home- on auto pilot. His face a blank mask, he went inside and locked the door. He shed his shoes and padded softly to the bathroom door, which he also closed and locked. Then he sank to the floor, pressing his knees to his chest, burying his head in his arms. "I'm bad." he whispered to himself. "I'm a bed son. Bad person. He's right... I'm not normal." For a long time, Dean let his misery freely through him in the altogether-too-quiet house. He eventually lit of the thought of hurting himself. His heart squeezed and his blood ran cold, snapping his out of his depressed stupor. Realizing he was very stiff, Dean stood slowly, wincing as he popped and cramped.

"Dean?" There was a knock at the door, followed by Cas's voice. "Are you okay? You've been in there for at least an hour..." Dean carefully out on his people-pleasing mask and opened the door, smile in place.

"Hey, buddy. How'd the date go?" Cas grinned.

"It went great." His was phone was clutched in his hand- he lifted it when it alerted him he had a new text. "Adam's been texting me since he dropped me off at the door." Quite suddenly, Dean realized he had had more than enough of Adam. Without thinking, he grabbed the phone from Cas's unsuspecting hand and hurled in at the large mirror above the sink.

"I am sick and tired of hearing about Adam, Castiel." he seethed, fists clenched at his sides. Cas stared at his shattered mirror.

"You're more like your dad than I thought." he murmured softly as he turned away from both Dean and the mess. Dean's eyes narrowed.

"Don't." he followed the other boy, body tight. "Don't you dare. I'm not like him." Cas snorted derisively and spun back around to face him, his own anger building.

"Would you like to know something, Dean? You are _very_ like your father, and very unlike Adam." Dean glowered.

"Why would I want to be like that perverted pedophile?" he demanded.

"He's only 23, Dean. Besides which, he cares about me. He understands me in a way you physically can't. I've known him for a fraction of the time I've known you and he gets me so much more than you ever could. That is why you should want to be like him, you assbutt."

"Oh." Dean had deflated during Cas's rant. "I'm sorry."

"Good." Cas spat, striding towards his room. "Sleep in the guest room tonight- I can't look at you." The door was closed firmly behind him and Dean moved into the living room, sinking to the couch.

"Damn." he laughed to himself, head in his hands. "Today sucked." Neither he nor Cas considered that he could leave if he wanted- he was already home, where would he go? It only occurred to Dean a few days later that Cas had said 'the guest room' and not 'your room'.

* * *

Neither Cas nor Dean slept that night- Cas because he was still stupidly angry, and Dean because he didn't want to face his dreams. Cas didn't speak when he entered the kitchen the next morning and found Dean already there, staring moodily into a cup of coffee. Silently, he poured his own steaming mug and added copious amount of sugar and cream before taking a deep sip. He wasn't really mad anymore- Cas didn't know how to hold a grudge- but wasn't quite ready to forgive yet. As Cas left the room, Dean broke the oppressive silence.

"Cas." his voice was wrecked. "Talk to me, man." The blue-eyed boy froze at the sound of his friend's voice and fought the urge to rush over and comfort him. Without turning to look, Cas gave his reply.

"I have nothing to say." Dean's heart twisted at the empty tone.

"Please, Cas," he whispered, near tears. "I need you right now." Cas almost tuned to look at the other. He stopped himself and shook his head, unwilling to show weakness. After closing his bedroom door, Cas sank against it, absolutely exhausted. He made himself stay put to keep himself from running to Dean- he would stay in the room all day if he needed to.

As it turned out, Cas wasn't meant to stay in one place if he wasn't writing. After just a few hours he ventured back into the kitchen for some food. Dean still sat at the island in the middle of the room, head in his hands. He didn't move when Cas started rattling around in the fridge. Chancing a glance over his shoulder, Cas looked at Dean properly for the first time that day. He had dark circled under his eyes, and his eyebrows were drawn together, mouth turned down in a frown. He was completely and totally asleep. Cas allowed himself a small smile- who could even pretend to be angry in the face of such cuteness? He quickly made some eggs and toast, loudly placing a plate in front of the lightly snoring Winchester, who woke with a start.

"Juice?" Cas offered hesitantly, smiling cautiously. Dean squinted and rubbed his eyes.

"Uh, if you're getting some for you I'll take a glass if you don't mind." Cas nodded and put down his own plate, fetching two glasses of food. Once he was seated, he frowned- Dean wasn't wolfing down his food. Maybe he was still mad? Cas picked listlessly at his own breakfast, suddenly no longer interested in his appetite. "I'm sorry about the mirror, and your phone. And for yelling." Dean spoke to his plate, but Cas was astounded he spoke at all- especially to apologize. "I was a dick, and you were right about being like my dad. I just..." For one moment, Dean longed to spill his guts, to tell Cas everything- about how confused he had been since Cas's interview, about the knife that was still twisting it's way through his organs, about how impossibly angry the very though of Adam made him, about how he had basically been disowned by his dad- but he couldn't. "I just had a bad day."

"It's okay Dean. I shouldn't have said what I did about your dad, or Adam." Dean laughed humorlessly.

"Why hide the truth? My old man's an angry old drunk, and I'll be just like him."

"What's got you in such a bad mood today, Dean?" Again, the urge to tell his best friend everything ripped through Dean.

"I just don't feel very good. Didn't sleep a wink."

"Me either." Cas admitted sheepishly. "It was too quiet." Dean let out a low chuckle.

"Do you maybe... want to take a nap?" Cas smiled.

"Absolutely." Leaving their picked-at meals behind, they boys padded to the bedroom. They lay down together, arms securely around each other's waists, legs thoroughly entangled, faces inches apart. They were asleep in minutes.

Unfortunately, both boys were awakened about an hour later. Dean whimpering woke Cas. It took him a minute to figure out what was going on- Dean had only mentioned his nightmares once, and Cas had never witnessed them himself. So he tried to be gentle.

"Dean," he shook his friend softly. "Wake up." This only seemed to make matters worse as Dean began tossing, shaking his head. "Dean, wake up!" Cas demanded, getting worried. When Dean still didn't wake up, Cas slapped him in the face-hard. "God dammit, Dean! Wake up!" Dean's eyes popped open and his muscles froze, locking in place as he gasped for breath. Slowly, he brought a trembling hand up to his face, eyes meeting Cas's.

"Did you hit me?" he asked incredulously. Cas blushed.

"You wouldn't wake up." he murmured.

"Damn." Dean laughed, rubbing his eyes. "Sorry for waking you up." Cas put his hand on the other boy's tense arm.

"Are you okay? You... you don't usually have nightmares anymore, right?" Dean shrugged, sitting up. "I just had a bad day yesterday." he wrinkled his nose. "I'm gonna catch a shower." he quickly exited the room. Cas picked up his phone- the screen was cracked but otherwise it was fine- and sent a text to Mary.

**12:47 **_'I'm worried about Dean.'_


	10. Problems

**A/N Hey, guys, it's been a while, sorry about that! I don't know when the next one will be up, I haven't even started writing it yet. O/O Anyway...**

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS WHAT COULD BE CALLED 'EXCESSIVE' AMOUNTS OF SWEARING AND 'MILD' SEXUAL SITUATIONS**

* * *

"Alright, class. I've cooked up a little project for you." The entirety of Mr. Cann's English class slumped in their seats. "I put you into groups," the class sat up a little straighter. "with people you don't usually talk to or work with." They all groaned and slumped again as the teacher began calling pairs. Dean would up with a tiny blonde girl named Eve West, and Cas got Tim Graham, one of his worst bullies. "Go sit with your partner and I'll explain the project." Dean and Cas reluctantly parted as the class shuffled itself around. Tim growled when Cas sat next to him, even if he was physically as far as he could be. Even so, Tim moved his chair farther away. Dean received the opposite greeting- a warm smile and a hair toss. Eve edged her chair closer, so their arms brushed at every opportunity. They had a week to finish the project. Dean invited Eve over to work on it that night. Cas, on the other hand, knew he would be doing the project alone.

That afternoon, before Eve got the the house, Cas and Dean were watching TV together.

"I'm going to drop out of school." Cas announced suddenly from where he was rested under Dean's arm. He felt the other boy stiffen.

"What? Why? We only have a few more months left and we're free!"

"If I have to stay in that place much longer I'll go insane. I'm leaving once the project is over. That way I can give a final 'Fuck you' to Tim by not doing any of the work. If he doesn't pass this class he won't get to graduate." Cas grinned at the thought.

"That's... kind of evil." Cas nodded enthusiastically.

"Call if my quiet revenge." The doorbell rang before Dean could respond. "I'll be in the bedroom." Cas told Dean as they parted ways.

* * *

"Eve, cas I ask you a question?" She and Dean had been working on seperate aspects of the project for about an hour, only occasionally speaking. Eve flashed a grin as she looked up form her work.

"Sure thing, handsome." She winked and a light blush brushed Dean's cheeks. "What's on your mind?" The boy rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, staring at the floor.

"Well, it's about Cas." He didn't see Eve's expression sour. "I was wondering why everyone hates him so much." The girl perked up.

"You mean besides the obvious freakitude?" she asked cruelly. Dean growled, meeting her eyes.

"Hey. That's my best friend."

"Oh, honey." Eve crooned, moving to sit next to Dean on the couch. She pressed her large chest into Dean's arm and pulled him close. "Because of him, you only have the one friend. Of course he's the best one you have." Dean tried to stand, but Eve held tight, maneuvering herself to where she straddled his lap. She slowly traced her finger down his chest as she spoke again, making it more than a little difficult for Dean to focus on her words. "He's a freaky nerd who never even looks at the books but passes everything. He's a snitch and a teacher's pet. He's awkward, and probably bipolar or something. Besides," she leaned very close to Dean, so their lips were mere centimeters away from each other. "he's a fucking faggot." She pressed their mouths together in a searing kiss before Dean would react. To be fair, Dean did try to fight her off- at first. But when a hot blonde wants you to kiss her, you shut up and do it.

* * *

When Cas entered the living room a few hours later, he regretted it. At first he thought it was empty. Dean music was playing quietly from the stereo. Cas froze when he rounded the couch to turn off the worn-out Metallica tape. Dean's shirt is on the floor, as is Eve's. He spotted her bra of the coffee table and squeaked. Eve glanced up at the noise, but Dean didn't. He's too busy kissing and sucking at the girl's neck. Eve offered a smirk and pulled on Dean's hair, making him groan. She winks at Cas when suddenly-

"Oh my God, you fucking pervert!" Eve started screaming at Cas. Dean popped up from where he lay over the tiny girl.

"The fuck, Cas?" he demanded, tossing a blushing Eve her clothes. Cas finally managed to close his mouth, which had been hanging open for some time. Eve began to sob once she was dressed.

"He was just staring at me, he's so creepy, and why is he even here?" Dean shot a deadly glare towards his friend and tried to comfort the crying girl. Cas's eyebrows drew together.

"Get the hell out." Dean looked at the blue-eyed boy in shock.

"What?"

"Get her the fuck out of my house, Dean Winchester, or I swear I'll throw her out myself." Eve's sobs began anew and she clutched Dean.

"Cas, what-"

"Now, dammit!" Dean and Eve both jumped as the normally soft-spoken boy began to yell. "Or I'll toss her out the damn window!" Dean, getting angry now, helped Eve to her feet and walked her to her car. When he returned about ten minutes later, Cas was furiously cutting chicken in the kitchen as he started making dinner.

"What the hell was that, Cas?" Dean demanded angrily.

"I could ask the same thing, Dean. You were going to fuck her on my goddamned couch, in my fucking living room, while I'm twenty feet away. They when she called me a pervert you may as well have fucking agreed!"

"Well for all I know-" Dean stopped himself as he watched Cas's shoulders slump.

"For all you know?"

"Fuck, Cas, I'm sorry," The author turned to face his friend. He didn't look angry. He looked devastated.

"I want you to get out."

"Cas, I'm so sorry," Dean started babbling, holding his hands out to Cas in apology.

"I don't care when you come back, I don't care what you do while you're gone. I just need you to fo, and I need you to do it now." Dean nodded helplessly and left, fetching his shirt from the living room as he did. Cas abandoned his cooking prep and sank onto one of the island stools, cell phone already in hand. Fingers shaking, he sent a text.

* * *

Even though Dean left the house, he didn't go far. He sat himself cross-legged on the hood of the Impala, staring intently at the front door. He didn't move when his phone buzzed, alerting him to an incoming message, nor did he finch when it beeped to indicate a call. He just stared at the door and wondered how, exactly, everything had gone so wrong so quickly. He couldn't really blame Eve, he decided. She wasn't used to Cas's sneaky ninja ways, and she hadn't even known Cas was there. And he couldn't blame Cas either- how was he to know what he and Eve had been up to? Which, logically, meant Dean himself was to blame. He had known Cas was home, and then he had been a total dick about it. Yes, Dean was to blame. Just as the boy reached that conclusion, a car stopped at the curb. It being dark by that point, Dean wouldn't see who it was. They didn't spare a glance towards Dean- probably didn't notice him- and knocked on the front door. The porch light flicked on and Dean scowled as Cas opened the door to admit his guest- Adam. His frown deepened as the blue-eyed boy practically threw himself into the other's arms. Adam maneuvered the shaking teen inside and closed the door, leaving Dean alone again. He wished quite suddenly that he was the one holding cas.

Adam exited the house a surprisingly short amount of time later- he had only been there for about half an hour. After closing the door, he made his way to Dean, who still sat silently on his car.

"Hi." the older man greeted as he drew near. "My name's Adam, and I take it you're Dean." The younger grunted and refused to make eye contact, even knowing how childish he was being. "Cas has calmed down a bit, and I wish I could help more, but it's really you he needs." Dean snorted.

"Why?" Adam smiled sort of sadly in the half-light still streaming from the porch.

"Just because. Please go talk to him." Dean nodded stiffly.

"Fine."

"He's a good kid, you know." Adam added after a few moments of silence. "A good person. We're both lucky to have him." Leaving Dean to bristle at the though of Adam 'having' Cas, the elder man walked to his car and drove away. Stiffly, Dean clambered off his car and entered the house.


	11. Deal

**A/N This one's for savisnire, for reminding me it had been a month since my last update. Thanks.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The first thing Dean noticed upon entering the house was the smell- it was absolutely intoxicating. Clearly Cas had resumed cooking while Dean was gone. Dean tentatively made his way to the kitchen- it was empty. All of the dishes were put away, except for a large bowl on a counter. Dean approached and lifter the plastic wrap keeping the food fresh. Immediately the delicious smell grew stronger, making Dean's mouth water. Cas had made quesedillas. Ignoring his rumbling stomach, Dean replaced the plastic and made his way down the hall to the room he shared with Cas. The door was locked. Dean didn't bother knocking. He put his back to the door and slipped to the ground.

"Hey, Cas." he lay his head against the heavy wood behind him. "I know you're in there. And I know you're willing to listen because you didn't turn your music on." Dean paused, not really expecting a reply. After a moment, he continued. "I'm really sorry. That wasn't okay of me- none of it. I shouldn't have been with her on the couch," somehow Dean knew that saying Eve's name would bring about only bad things, "and I should have defended you when she called you a pervert. I know you're not, and next time I see her I'll make sure she knows too. You were shocked." Dean chucked. "When you're really surprised, you freeze up until something snaps you out of it. It's cute, really." The door suddenly swung open and Dean fell to the floor, looking up at Cas. He took in his red-rimmed eyes and messier-than-usual hair, and offered an apologetic smile. "Hey, Cas." The boy fell to his knees and buried his face in Dean's chest.

"I was wrong." he murmured as Dean's arms wrapped around him. "You _do_ understand me."

* * *

The next week passed quickly. Dean didn't bring Eve back to the house, but spent hours at her place. Hours Cas refused to think about. Dean was made to shower before he was allowed in the bedroom- Cas wouldn't sleep in a room that smelled like Dean-and-Eve-sex. During those long hours Cas amused himself by not doing his own project, and by trying to figure out his book. He had hit a bit of a block trying to get from one plot point to the next- his character needed to fully come into her powers as Blood Queen, but he didn't want to do a Yu-gi-oh type 'oh look now I know everything' type deal. He was also busy trying to figure out how to write out her love interest, introduced not to long ago. He didn't fit, and bore an uncanny resemblance to Dean that made Cas uncomfortable.

By the time the project was due Cas still hadn't made any headway into the story and his agent had started pestering his for pages. Dean and Eve were an official 'thing', which meant Cas was spending more time with Adam. The day after Cas officially dropped out of high school, he got his first kiss.

Adam had insisted on taking Cas out to celebrate. Dean had also been invited, but he already had plans with Eve. So Adam and Cas ended up in the restaurant alone, not for the first time. By that time it was safe to say that they were also a 'thing'. They enjoyed their meal, and the company, and Adam drove Cas home. Per usual, Adam walked the teen to the door. This time, instead of offering a warm smile and leaving, Adam leaned in slowly, giving Cas plenty of time to move away. Gently, he pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss, his hands settling easily on the boy's hips. He pulled back a little to make sure Cas was okay, and had to chuckle. He looked blown away. The younger man hesitantly looped his arms around Adam's neck, looking at him for confirmation. Adam laughed again and kissed him again, gently pressing the boy into the front door as they continued to kiss, albeit a little uncertainly on Cas's part. Neither of them heard the roar of the Impala pulling into the driveway- at least, that's what they say. If Adam heard and kissed Cas just a bit harder, who among us could blame him? Dean stormed up the the pair and cleared his throat loudly. Cas jumped and flushed, trying to step away from his boyfriend. Adam however, tightened his grip slightly.

"It's okay." he murmured to the flushing author. "We weren't doing anything wrong." Cas looked at him for a moment before nodding with a hesitant smile. Adam smiled back and kissed Cas's forehead. "I'll text you later." he assured him before leaving. Cas grinned at Dean.

"Hello." he greeted, unlocking the door. "How was your evening with Eve?"

"Fine." Dean grumbled as they entered the house. "I'm starving. You hungry?" Cas raised his eyebrows.

"I just got back from dinner." he remined. Dean muttered unintelligibly and swept past Cas, who nose wrinkled on reflex, then pause.

"Dean? Did you shower at Eve's?" Dean snorted as he made his way into the kitchen.

"No. Why? I smell like a chick?" Cas shook his head slowly and stepped into Dean's personal space, inhaling deeply.

"No, you smell like you. For once." Dean winced and blushed.

"She turned me down. Said we needed to 'bond' or some shit." Dean wrapped his arms around his smaller friend, who stepped even closer and returned the favor. Quietly, Dean spoke into the author's hair. "I don't want you kissing him anymore." when Cas stiffened, Dean hurried to elaborate. "I mean here. Not where I can see. You don't see me with Eve, I don't see you with Adam." Dean struggled not to sneer his way through the name. "Deal?" Cas nodded, tightening his hold on his friend for a moment.

"Deal.

* * *

"Look, babe, I know you thought I'd go to the mall with you today, but I promised Cas I'd help him today." Dean spoke gently, as though not to frighten-or anger- a large animal. Cas sat on the couch, pretending he didn't hear a word of the conversation, nose buried in a book. "He's not a freak, Eve. Just lay off, okay?" It was a Saturday, and Dean wanted nothing more than to get off the phone with his girlfriend. "Look, I'll see you on Monday. Just... leave me alone until then." Dean abruptly ended the call, flopping on the couch next to his friend, pillowing his head on the other's shoulder.

"You're going to regret hanging up on her." Cas commented, finally closing the book.

"Nah, what's she gonna do to me?" the blue-eyed author allowed his silence to speak for him. "Er... she'll get over it... eventually." Dean bit his lip. "I hope."

"Do you love her, Dean? Do you love Eve?" The green-eyed boy snorted.

"No."

"Do you think you will fall in love with her?"

"Not a chance. She's not my type. Too loud, obnoxious. Too blonde."

"Then... why don't you break up with her?" Dean shrugged awkwardly.

"And be the loser who couldn't keep a girlfriend? No thanks." Both boys were silent for a while, before Dean brightened. "But come on. I told you I'd teach you to drive today."

"Are you sure? You don't want to go shopping?" Cas teased as Dean stood. The other grimaced.

"Pass."

* * *

"Cas, you need to slow down when you go around corners, slow down, slow down slowdown!" Cas rolled his eyes from the driver's seat, glancing over at his friend with a chuckle.

"Calm down, Dean. I was only going 40."

"Yeah. The recommended speed on that turn was 15."

"Did we crash?"

"Well, no-"

"Did we die?"

"No, Cas, but-"

"Then it's fine." Cas laughed. "Driving... driving is fun."

"Just keep your eyes on the road." Cas smiled again- the best part about driving was Dean's overreactions. After a while of Dean's pleading, Cas eventually slowed to 10 above the speed limit. "Ya know, when you're not trying to outrace, well, everything, you're not half-bad at this."

"Thank you, Dean. And thank you for letting me drive your baby." The Impala roared happily as the boys looked at each other, grinning.

* * *

"You let the freak drive your car? Do you know how many times I've asked to drive it?" Eve had been waiting when Cas and Dean got back home. Cas had hurried into the house to give the pair some privacy.

"No. I don't." Eve fumed.

"It doesn't matter, I bet you it was more than he did. Why are you even friends with him? Why would you chose to spend time with him, instead of me?" Dean was tempted to tell her it was because he liked Cas a lot more, but thought maybe that was better kept to himself.

"He's my friend. And why are you even here? I told you to leave me alone for the weekend. That's not so much to ask, you know." Eve crossed her arms, emphasizing her already large boobs.

"I can't want to see my boyfriend?" Dean groaned and rubbed his face tiredly, leaning against his car.

"Of course you can. But we need some distance, babe."

"Rufus asked me out." Dean looked at Eve suddenly.

"What did you say?"

"Rufus asked me on a date. I told him no. But... I just might call him and change it to yes."

"Aw, come on, Eve. Don't be like that." Dean smiled charmingly. "You know you like me more than Rufus." Eve narrowed her eyes.

"We'll see."

* * *

"I think we need to break up."


	12. Convention

"I don't like leaving you here alone." Cas frowned at his friend. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"Yeah, Cas. I can't miss school." Cas was leaving. For a week. Without Dean. There was a convention in California dedicated to his books, and his agent had booked him as going ages ago, well before he dropped out of school. Castiel Novak had several panels to host.

"I still don't like it." Dean laughed and pulled the smaller boy into a tight hug.

"I know, Cas. But it's just a week. I'll be alright, I'm a big boy." Cas grumbled unintelligibly.

"You burn down my house and I'll end you, got it, Winchester?"

"Yes, sir." The boys exchanged a last hug before Cas climbed into the back seat of the large black sedan his manager insisted he ride in. Dean waved until Cas disappeared around a corner before going back inside. Not three minutes after he closed the door, there came a knock. Dean made his way slowly to answer. "Eve? What are you doing here?"

* * *

Cas was exhausted by the time he got to his hotel. He and his driver had chatted most of the drive- 8 plus hours. Luckily, Cas made it to his room without being seen. He wasn't quite ready for the screaming fangirls, on the off-chance someone recognized him. Cas collapsed on the bed and fell asleep immediately. Word of his arrival was already spreading through the hotel.

The next day, Cas was up early. It was time to step into his mask. He got dressed in a pair of black jeans, a fitted black band tee, and his black converse. He didn't bother doing anything with his hair- it wouldn't make a difference anyway. Then he sat on his bed, eyes closed for about ten minutes. When he opened them again, he was Castiel Novak, and he could take on anything his fans had to throw at him.

Almost as soon as Castiel left his room, he was seen. A teenage girl squeed and pointed him out to her teenage friends. They rushed him excitedly, all talking at once. The author whipped out his phone and had them all squish close in, snapping a quick picture with them. He sent it to Twitter with the caption- _'You guys sure get an early start!'_ Once the girls all got a hug he extracted himself and went in search of breakfast before wondering the con, mostly blending in with the rest of the crowd.

Castiel walked onto the stage to some rock song he had never heard. The audience screamed and cheered- his first panel of the day.

"Hey, guys!" he greeted, grinning. "You guys doing alright today?" The crowd responded with the affirmative. The questions that followed flowed smoothly about his characters, his upcoming books. He explained that he was having a lot of trouble with the next book and answered questions about the possibility of a movie. Then-

"How's your boyfriend doing?" That gave Castiel pause.

"What?" he tilted his head, confused, and the girls in the crowd giggled. "We broke up a few days ago..."

"No!" The audience cried, apparently in agony. The girl at the microphone gasped.

"You broke up with Dean?!"

"What? No!" The crowd stopped their wailing and listened.

"I never dated Dean. He's got a girlfriend."

"Then who'd you break up with?"

"His name was Adam." Cas grinned. "He was really great, but it just didn't work out, you know?"

* * *

_"I think we need to break up." Adam spoke slowly, as though he wanted to make sure Cas couldn't misunderstand. The author's eyes widened._

_"Why?" He felt tears begin welling up in his eyes. Adam had come over just a few minutes ago. They sat on the front stoop together, shoulders brushing. Adam held Cas's hand tightly in his own._

_"I could be in love with you, Cas."_

_"Is that so terrible?" the younger boy wanted to know, refusing to meet the older's eyes._

_"Yes." Cas flinched. "Because I know you're not in love with me. Not even a little."_

_"I could be."_

_"No you couldn't." Adam laughed and Cas heard the tears in his voice as well. "You love him." Adam's head jerked back towards the house behind them, clearly indicating Dean._

_"I..." Cas couldn't think of a reply. Did he love Dean? Of course. But was he IN LOVE with Dean? ...Yeah, probably. The tears began to flow down Cas's face and Adam wrapped him in his arms._

_"Shh. It's okay." Adam rocked them for a few minutes and Cas slowly calmed down. "Go on inside, Cas. We both know Dean will make you feel better than I can." Cas flinched again, though the words were said kindly. Maybe because of it. The men both stood and Adam pressed a kiss to Cas's forehead before turning to go._

_"Will we still be friends?" the boy asked, twisting his hands together, staring at the ground._

_"Yeah, Cas. We'll still be friends." Cas began to cry again as he heard the barely suppressed tears in Adam's voice. He nodded and Adam got into his car. He just sat there for a moment before driving away. Cas wrapped his arms around himself and began to sob loudly. Dean found him that way a few minutes later._

* * *

Castiel Novak laughed.

"Sorry guys, I zoned out for a minute there." He grinned, lightening the suddenly tense air.

"So," began a new girl at a microphone. "If Dean didn't have a girlfriend, would you be interested?" The author blushed.

"Potentially." He only answered because he was sure Dean would never see, despite the many camera phones that were trained on him. "Potentially." The rest of the panel passed easily with only slightly invasive questions. Castiel's favorite part of any con was the photo ops. He loved getting to meet his fans and hug them, pose in silly poses with them, make stupid faces. It was fun. The first day of the con ended, and Cas fell into bed, cell phone clutched to his chest. He was hoping Dean would text, because he didn't have the energy to start the conversation himself. Cas fell asleep, phone sitting silently in his hand.

* * *

"Come on, Dean. The freak isn't even here and you still won't pay attention to me." Dean sighed frustratedly, silently counting to ten. Twice.

"You're the one that suggested we watch a movie. The point of a movie is to pay attention to it, not the person next to you." Eve rolled her eyes.

"Sure, if you're thirty." She stood and stretched, showing off her midriff. She smiled to herself when she caught Dean looking at her. "Come on," she purred. "Don't you wanna have... fun?"

"Not here, I promised Cas-"

"Shh, come on, baby." Eve crooked her fingers towards the green-eyed boy. "Follow me." Dean did as he was told, following Eve down the hallway. Unerringly, she skipped over the guest bedroom and stopped in front of Dean and Cas's room. She put her back to the door and pulled Dean close, kissing him. She opened the door behind her and pulled him into the room. The door closed behind them with a soft click.


	13. Balthazar

**A/N Warning for domestic violence in this chapter**

"Castiel? Castiel Novak?" Cas turned around, prepared to smile his way through yet another fan encounter. Though the convention had ended late Sunday and it was now late Tuesday, he was still in town, in the same hotel, for a book signing the next day. Then he would leave for another city and attend another convention before heading back home. When he saw who called his name, however, he grinned.

"Hey!" he cried excitedly.

* * *

"Dammit, Eve!" Dean cried exasperatedly. "Where'd you put my phone?"

"I didn't put it anywhere," simpered the small blonde. "Where'd you see it last?" Dean huffed.

"In your hand. I loaned it to you so you could call your mom, tel her you were staying at Ruth's tonight, remember?"

"I gave it back to you."

"Then where is it?" Eve shrugged.

"How am I supposed to know?" Dean groaned and flopped onto his and Cas's bed- next to Eve. "You know, if you just... give it some time..." Eve trailed her hand suggestively along Dean's chest. "You might remember what you did with it?"

"When are you going to Ruth's?" Dean asked abruptly, rolling to his feet.

"Oh, I'm not." Eve grinned mischievously and spread herself out on the bed. "I was planning on staying right here tonight..." Dean bit back a moan.

"Eve..." The girl held her arms out to him, her lips forming a pout.

"Come on, baby." she purred. "You can look for your phone later."

* * *

Cas smiled.

"What are you doing here, Balthazar?" The tall blonde grinned.

"I heard the illustrious Castiel Novak was is town, and was hoping my little Cassie would be too." The two hugged tightly.

"How have you been, Balth?" Balthazar was Cas's (older) childhood friend- they largely kept up through emails, and very occasional visits. "Do you want to come to my room? I'm trying to avoid fans." The blonde nodded.

"Lead the way."

The two boys spent hours catching up, joking, playing. When the conversation started to wind down, Balthazar ducked out of the room for a few minutes. When he returned, he had a brown paper bag clearly covering a bottle.

"What do you say, Cassie?" Balthazar wiggled the bagged bottle temptingly. "Up for a little fun?" Cas bit his lip thoughtfully.

"I probably shouldn't. I have the book signing in the morning..." the older boy shrugged and sat down next to him, taking a swig from the bottle.

"Alright." Silence fell over the room, Balthazar occasionally taking small swigs from his mystery beverage.

"Screw it." Cas announced suddenly. "I _do _want to have fun." The blonde laughed and passed the bottle to his friend, watching closely as he took a tentative sip. Cas winced slightly as he swallowed, making his older friend grin. "What is this?" he asked after taking a second -larger- sip.

"Blue Raspberry Vodka." Cas nodded, taking a third swig before passing it back.

"It's... not bad." he finally decided. "Burns a little, but not bad." Balthazar chuckled.

"I'm glad you like it."

Within 15 minutes, Cas had a strong, though pleasant, buzz in his mind. Balthazar was also slightly drunk, and both were giggling- and horny.

* * *

_Bzzz...Bzzz...Bzzz..._

Dean followed the buzzing sound from his and Cas's bedroom, where Eve lay asleep. He rubbed his eyes blearily, stumbling. The noise stopped for a moment and he paused.

_Bzzz...Bzzz...Bzzz..._

Dean followed the buzzing again and found himself kneeling in front of the bookshelf in the living room. He shuffled some books around as the buzzing stopped- there! Dean pulled his cell phone from behind a large book- Mark Twain's complete works. Who even owns that book? He rolled his eyes at his nerdy friend and unlocked his phone with a brief surge of anger towards Eve.

_8 Missed Calls_

_15 New Messages_

_3 New Voicemail_

Dean hesitantly clicked on his missed calls icon- they were all from Sammy. He clicked on the message icon- all from Sammy. Seeing a pattern, Dean clicked on his voicemail.

_"You have...three... new voice mail. You have... no... saved messages. First message, received at...2:12 pm-_

'Dean, please come over.'" It was Sammy. He sounded scared, and Dean was on his feet immediately. "'Dad came home from work early and started yelling and... I'm scared, Dean.' _Next message, received at... 3:23 pm..."_ The rest of the messages were largely the same thing, dad still yelling, crashing things. Sam's door was locked from the outside and he couldn't get out..." Dean ran for the Impala as he flicked quickly through the texts. They all detailed the same thing as the voice mail, ending with the newest text saying that it had been their mother who locked Sam in, and now she had locked them both in while John yelled and banged on the door.

Dean could hear the yelling from the car. He turned it off quickly and sprinted to the front door- locked. Cursing, Dean unlocked it and barreled up the stairs. His dad was standing outside Sammy's door, screaming obscenities. Dean didn't bother listening to what they were about before tackling the older man to the floor.

The next thing Dean was really aware of, he was being hauled of his dad, and Sammy's door was open. Sam stood in it, looking scared. Mary wasn't in sight, but he could hear her, somewhere behind him. Then who was pulling him away? Dean caught a glimpse of a starched black sleeve and stopped fighting- it was a cop. He looked down at his dad and was surprised to see that he was beaten to a pulp. As the police officer pulled Dean away, he noticed that his hand was dripping- either his dad's blood or his own- maybe both. Sam followed his big brother down the stairs.

"What happened, Sammy?" Dean asked as they were seated on the couch.

"Once mom realized I had my phone she called the cops. I guess that was right before you got here. I'm sorry, Dean, I should have thought to call them, but..." Sam started crying, loud wracking sobs forcing their way through his body. Dean, anguished, wrapped him in his arms and let his cry into his shirt. He shot dirty looks at anyone who came too close or looked at them too long- and there were several cops in the house- until his mom appeared. A large bruise was forming on her cheek. She sat next to Sammy and lay her head on his back, wrapping her arms around both her boys.

"We'll be okay." she whispered. "We'll be alright."

An ambulance showed up not much longer afterwards and John was taken to the hospital.

* * *

_Bzzz...Bzzz...Bzzz..._

Cas didn't notice his phone going off, his pants discarded on the ground, along with the rest of his and Balthazar's clothes.


	14. Chick Flick

A steady pounding woke Cas the next morning, and for a while he just lay still, struggling against his headache. His mouth was dry, his tongue felt thick. A faint nausea was working it's way up from his stomach.

"Ugh." Cas groaned to himself and cracked open a single eyes to peek at the clock. "Shit." He had slept through his alarm and was now officially 'running late'. He shifted to stand, sliding out from under the blankets. He paused a moment when the cool motel air hit his skin- all of it. Cas glanced back to the bed and was somewhat unsurprised to see Balthazar asleep, seemingly just as naked as he. He shrugged and smiled as his memory of the previous night filtered through the pain in his head. Suddenly his all-over aching made more sense. He blearily trundled to his bag and took a pair of Asprin before making his woozy way to the shower.

One bracingly cold shower and several more Asprin later, Cas felt almost ready to face the day. Balthazar was in the shower when Cas left for the book signing. They said their goodbyes before hand, hugging tightly.

"We'll have to do this again." Balthazar had teased, making Cas blush, then laugh.

"It was fun." he agreed. With a final tight hug and a last wave, Balthazar went to the bathroom and Cas finished packing. By the time he was on the road, his headache was almost gone and he would stand without feeling nauseous.

* * *

Dean was systematically deleting each text Dam had sent him about their dad. Then he moved to the voicemails, lingering with growing guilt over the terror evident in his little brother's voice. When he was done, he had one voice mail left. It was the shortest one, where Sam merely whimpered and begged,

"Please, Dean. Please." He swore to himself that he would never delete it, would never let Sammy down like that again. He looked around him tiredly as he out his phone in his pocket. His mom had gone out to the store, Sammy tagging along to get out of the house. Last night had been rough on everyone. Mary had declined pressing charges against John, but was filing for both a divorce and a restraining order. John, while at the hospital, had said he would be filing battery charges against Dean, but after a long conversation with a lawyer, dropped it. All of which left Dean alone in his childhood home, knowing it wasn't where he belonged anymore. For a wild moment, he considered Calling Cas and telling him everything- the whole town would know soon- but he restrained himself. Cas was busy being Castiel Novak. He was unavailable and Dean would tell him all about it when he got back late Sunday. His phone buzzed from his pocket and he quickly whipped it out, hoping it would be- it was Eve. Again. Dean had been ignoring her calls and texts all day, but she just wouldn't stop. The only reason he hadn't turned his phone off completely was his family and as. He groaned and tossed the cell onto the coffee table, where it's buzzing was even _more_ annoying.

"Leave me alone!" he moaned as he flopped sideways until he was sprawled on the couch. "Just leave me alone...

Dean stayed with his mom and Sammy all night, just as he had the previous night. He slept on the couch so he could hear it if the front door opened. In the morning, after breakfast, Dean gave Sammy a hug and kissed his mom on the cheek.

"Alright, I'll see you guys later!" he called over his shoulder as he made his way to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Mark asked him.

"Gotta go home," he replied before closing the door behind him. He didn't see Mary's face fall.

"I thought you were home." she murmured quietly.

* * *

Castiel Novak's book signing went off without a hitch. Many books were signed, several photos were made, and every fan left satisfied. When Cas finally left for the hotel, even Castiel Novak was tired. He slept the whole ride back.

The next morning, Cas found himself with nothing to do. He was in town until Sunday, but the convention didn't start until Friday- meaning he had another day all to himself. He flicked on his phone and was surprised to see a text from Dean from the night before the last.

**9:07** _'Cas.' _Smirking, Cas texted back.

**11:33 **_'Dean.'_ When no reply was forthcoming, Cas began to fret. Did Dean want to tell him to leave him alone? Had Dean replaced him with a new friend, or worse, with Eve?

**11:42 **_'Hey, Cas._ :)'

**11:43 **_'How are you?'_

**11:59** _'Need to talk to you when you get back in town.' _Cas paled.

**12:01 **_'Ok.'_ He debated with himself for a few minutes. **12:05**_ 'Why?'_ Dean never answered. Cas told himself it was because lunch was over at school.

Late that night, Cas's phone rang, waking him up.

"'Lo?" he answered blearily.

"Hey, Cas." The blue eyed boy smiled, closing his eyes again.

"Hello, Dean."

"How's everything been going?" Cas stifled a yawn as he spoke.

"Good, but I'll be glad what it's over. It's exhausting, being around so many people all the time. How about you?" There was a long pause, then Dean sighed.

"I really need to talk to you when you get back, Cas." The author bit his lip.

"Why can't you talk to me now?"

"It's not something I want to talk about over the phone, you know?" Dean sighed again. "I miss you, man." He chuckled to himself. "The bed's too big, the house too quiet." Cas smiled softly.

"Miss you too, Dean."

"Okay. That's enough chick flick moment. Startin' to grow lady parts over here." The boy talked for hours, until they were both asleep, the line still open between them.

Not long afterwards, Cas woke up, not sure why. He sleepily picked his head up, blinking around the room- nothing out of the ordinary. He lay his head back down on the pillow- and on the phone. The line was still open, and Cas spared a moment to thank God he and Dean had unlimited mobile to mobile calls. But then he heard a whimper. He knew that sound.

"Dean." he whispered. "Wake up. You're having a nightmare." There was no sound from the other side of the phone for a moment- the Dean whined again. "Dean! Wake up!" Cas began yelling, hating that he was so far away. There was a gasp as Dean woke.

"Cas?" he muttered. The author would tell Dean was crying. "That you?"

"Yeah, Dean." The blue-eyed boy soothed. "It's me. You're okay."

"Cas..." Dean spoke softly. "It was awful."

"I know. I'm so sorry." There was pause while Dean gathered himself.

"I'm up for the day. You go on back to sleep." Cas knew Dean wanted to be left alone, so he agreed.

"Okay. Goodnight, Dean."

"'Night, Cas." But Cas didn't sleep. He waited in the dark until his alarm rang, not too long later.


End file.
